The Number Fortys: Madonna - "Borderline"

In The Number Fortys, we review every song that was sitting at #40 on the Billboard chats, starting in the first week of January 1984, right around the time this writer became cognizant/obsessive about music. The seeds for the idea came from Tom Breihan's Number Ones column over at Stereogum. However, we here at k-postpunk believe that the bottom is more interesting than the top (and obscurity is more interesting than either).

I interviewed our 4 1/2 year old, who adores the first two Madonna albums (we had them on cassette, and played them in the van until the tape player died).

What do you like about it?

I just like all the parts of the song.

Do the words mean anything to you?

I don't like the words.

Why not?

They're just a little bit too sad.

You don't like sad songs?

Uh-uh.

What's a happy song that you like?

Almost all the Beatle songs?

Are there any sad Beatle songs?

Nope.

Is this your favorite Madonna song?

Kinda.

Are there any you like better?

I just think this one.

Do you think it would be a fun song to dance to?

No.

Madonna, looks like your mom a little bit, huh?

Yeah.

Thank you for your help.

You're Welcome.


I don't have much to add, other than I agree with everything he said except for the Beatles not having any sad songs. But then, I don't think any of them are as sad as this. Most sad Beatles songs feel, to me anyway, more like a performance of a sad song than actual sadness (this is not true at all of John and Paul's solo albums btw, and testifies to the role their partners played in opening them up emotionally). Anyway, this song went to #10. It was Madonna's third single to hit the Top 20, and whether we see her at #40 or #1, we will be seeing a lot more of her as this column progresses.

True Madonna story: many years ago I embarked on a cross-country poetry tour to promote an anthology we (and others) had been published in. A friend of mine, she gave me a CD of The Immaculate Collection to listen to on tour. When I pulled it out of my bag a week or so into the tour, these smelly boys all got made I hadn't pulled it out sooner. Now two of these boys loved Pearl Jam way too much (I remember one guy telling me the Red Hot Chili Peppers song "I Could Have Lied" featured the greatest guitar solo ever played, and everything about that sentence made my body feel tangible pain), so I was surprised. But I shouldn't have been. Madonna's run of 80s singles is a virtually unhateable body of work, except for the True Blue, Who's That Girl, Causing a Commotion speed bump, but we can probably blame that on her piece of shit husband at the time, Sean Penn, because she started kicking ass again as soon as he left the picture.

Anyway, Borderline is a 9.


THE NUMBER ONE

I have nothing left to say about this hand-clapping turd of a song except this is the last time I'll have to copy & paste it into one of these article (unless it hits #40 on its way back down the chart, in which case may god have mercy on all of our souls).