Friday, March 29, 2019

The Number Fortys: Scandal - "The Warrior"

In The Number Fortys, we review every song that was sitting at #40 on the Billboard chats, starting in the first week of January 1984, right around the time this writer became cognizant/obsessive about music. The seeds for the idea came from Tom Breihan's Number Ones column over at Stereogum. However, we here at k-postpunk believe that the bottom is more interesting than the top (and obscurity is more interesting than either).

We try not to get too bogged down on research doing this column. We're  more into what the academics call "critical analysis, and besides, if you want to know more, you know where to find it. But we do go to Wiki to check the chart positions, etc. And while there just now we learned that apparently, Scandal singer Patty Smyth was invited by Eddie Van Halen to join Van Halen after David Lee Roth quit. She declined because she was eight months pregnant at the time (which didn't have to be a deal breaker, but I get it). And I just want to say, that while I'm not a massive Patty Smyth fan (did the world need a more histrionic Pat Benatar? I'm not sure it did), I really, really wish that would have happened, because I'm even less of a fan of Sammy Hagar (did the world need a more histrionic Robert Plant? It most fucking definitely did not). I just want to say holy shit, the alternate universe where Patty Smyth became the singer for Van Halen is a better universe than this one.



As for Scandal, this was their biggest, and last, hit. It would reach all the way to #7. It's competent 80's rock. The way the drums drop out for that final chorus screams professional pop craft. Unfortunately, the most memorable part of the song (the bang bang in the chorus) is also its most annoying. Which means this song gets real old, real fast. But it's fun as hell the first few times you hear it. And nice Aladdin Sane makeup in the video, though I have a feeling if she ever went up to Bowie and introduced herself he would nod politely and start looking for an escape route.

Score: 5/10.

THE NUMBER ONE


Did a little research on Prince, the person. What I got back wasn't good. It's going to take me a while before I can engage with his music on a (im)purely music level. This has been #1 for three weeks, and was covered in depth the first time it showed up. The song is still a 10 though.


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