Maybe it's because of where I live (the US south), but it seems like nobody can say a person died anymore. People say they "passed." They speak of someone's "passing." Maybe it feels less jarring, more sympathetic, to say someone passed. You imagine the person's loved one hearing it. Maybe their child. And because this is a cruel world, you want to try to be as gentle as possible. What is the gentlest way I can say this, you think. And so you say, I'm so sorry to hear of Dave's passing.
None of which changes the fact that Dave's fucking dead, of course. It's just that it feels so...rude to talk about it that way. Watch people flinch when you talk about death. For a society that has no problem when it comes to killing--especially when it's done by a soldier, or a cop, or a judge--we get real fucking squeamish when somebody talks about death. You better stand on your chair and weep tears of patriotic joy when someone mentions the military, but when you're talking about my 93 year old grandma? She passed away.
If this trend continues (and given the general squeamishness of the middle-class-and-up bougie social values that are infecting our society--a demographic that simultaneously loves TV shows of violence and rape like Game of Thrones but will stiffen if you say the word shit in front of them--I see no reason why it won't), it won't be long before everyone just the newer, more sanitized euphemism get used just as crudely as the word it replaced.
You hear about, Dave?
Yeah, yeah. Too bad. Heard the dude passed in the bathtub. How sad is that?
Yeah, man. Wish Trump would hurry up and pass. Save us the trouble of sending his racist ass to jail.
You get the idea. Hey, I can totally get with the idea that language shapes thought, that violent/sexist/racist language is likely to, even if employed ironically, lead to more violent/sexual/racist acts. So sure, language is powerful. But it's worth remembering that cleaning up the language isn't going to clean up the world. Death doesn't get any less ugly just because the words get prettier. Indeed, for most of human history, we've tended to pick euphemisms that emphasize the ugly/cruel/real facts of death. Pushing up the daisies. Becoming worm food. We made bleak jokes about death because, well, because death is kind of a bleak joke. And I can't help but feel as coping mechanism go, you're better off picking one that acknowledges the realness of the thing you're coping with, rather than engaging in that suburban style of avoidance. But what do I know, I'm not the one gobbling anti-anxiety meds so I can walk out my front door.
But what are we going to do about the radio? Think of all these poor people driving around in their cars, listening to the radio, and suddenly some song comes on about death. People are likely to be so shocked and traumatized that they drive into a guardrail or something. For that reason, we think someone needs to do some radio edits to some famous songs. For the sake of politeness. Here's a quick sample of lyrics and/or titles that have been gentle-fied (it's like gentrified, only the real estate is between your ears).
The Day The Music Passed
Hope I pass before I get old
Live And Let Pass
The Passing Of A Disco Dancer
The Black Angel's Passing Song
I Just Passed In Your Arms Tonight
Earth Passed Screaming
All These People Have Passed
Ready To Pass
Born To Pass
Only The Good Pass Young
I Would Pass 4 U
Get Me Away From Here, I'm Passing
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