Tweetbait

It's self-promotion described as crowdsourcing. Not only is it irresistible to anyone online who thinks their opinion on mundane bullshit is worth sharing with the world (i.e. all of us), it's irresistible to anyone who likes to subvert said bullshit by providing an unexpected answer that calls the entire premise into question (i.e. a few of us). I'm not going to post/embed examples, because why give the glory merchants any more attention. But when you ask a question on twitter like this one I just saw.

What extremely popular TV show have you never seen a single episode of?

It looks like fun, right? Ooh, I have a good one. But let's stop and think. Do we really think this person gives a shit what TV shows we have or haven't seen? I saw an even worse one last week, asking people to name a song that features the name of a geographic location (both of these were quote-tweets from people I follow on my personal account). My first thought was, you mean like Penny Lane by the most popular fucking band of all time? Or Strawberry Fields Forever, on the very same fucking single? Or how about a song called Hotel California off the best-selling album in the history of recorded music? (I know it's not on the Greatest Hits Vol. 1; my first thoughts aren't always correct). I was thinking this guy can't be fucking serious.

And then I realized he wasn't serious. He wasn't interested in an answer, or starting a discussion, or even trying to make a really long Spotify playlist. He was trying to gain visibility, traction for his (in this case) recording project--no, I didn't listen. That's what he wanted me to do.

I got suckered (on my personal account, the one for this site is deliberately more cynical and anti-social than the real life version of me) the other day by this one:

My dad's never used a cashpoint. I've never eaten a Subway. What's the most ordinary thing you've never done (and are possibly becoming secretly proud of?).

"Crystal meth," I quote-tweeted, feeling proud of my joke. I mean, who could resist a set-up like that. But then, that was the point wasn't it? It worked either way. Either people posted some mundane normie bullshit like "chocolate." Or they tried to find something horrible in order to express the horror of 21st century life. I was hoodwinked, horn-swabbled, fooled.
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Don't be like me. Hell, don't be like you. Let's avoid the tweetbait when we see it. I can't imagine anything sadder than posting a question like, "okay, everybody best 80's TV theme song: GO" and the person getting zero replies, a twitter ratio of someone who never got into a single game.

But as long as I'm here, I just have to say it HAS TO BE this one.