The Number Fortys: Bruce Springsteen - "Cover Me"

In The Number Fortys, we review every song that was sitting at #40 on the Billboard chats, starting in the first week of January 1984, right around the time this writer became cognizant/obsessive about music. The seeds for the idea came from Tom Breihan's Number Ones column over at Stereogum. However, we here at k-postpunk believe that the bottom is more interesting than the top (and obscurity is more interesting than either). Also, if you want to read the Number in the title as meaning "more numb," I think that's totally understandable at this point.

I think I read somewhere that Bruce wrote this song for Donna Summer. I'm not sure what happened, whether she passed on it or what, but I wish she had. Not that I'm a huge Donna Summer fan (though I Feel Love is a 10), it's just that I'm one of those effete communists who think Springsteen blows.

Not that I haven't tried. Hell, as a young person in their early teens, I even kind of fell a little under his spell for a couple of years there. Can someone despise Springsteen, the inadvertently jingoistic shitbag (yeah, we definitely needed a rousing anthem of unity after 9/11 asshole), while still having favorite songs by said shitbag? Sure I can. Here goes: State Trooper, One Step Up, Atlantic City, Darkness on the Edge of Town, Dancing in the Dark, Bobby Jean, Brilliant Disguise, and I'm On Fire. Though it has to be said that even one of Bruce's best songs is way better when done by someone else.

Electrelane never had a Top 40 hit, but remind me to tell you how they were one of the best bands of the first decade of the 21st century. Anyway, before we get to Bruce, I just wanted to show an example of what I consider to be passionate, raw, delirious rock. That cove was a 10 by the way.

Now let's get to Bruce's shit.

It's funny he tried to give it to Donna, because this beat isn't disco at all. It's more...horsey. Like someone riding up over the plains. Bouncy bouncy bounce bounce. Hell, that shout he gives at the beginning of the song literally sounds like some movie cowboy jump starting his horse. The rest of the music is basically a minor blues, nothing special. It sounds like it took 30 minute to write.

And check out that video. Not sure how anyone in Jersey got their hair cut when Bruce was on tour, since his whole band looks like a bunch of Italian barbers, except for Clarence (that's a phrase btw, "except for Clarence" that Bruce probably heard a lot). I don't know who that fucking guy at 2:48 is, but the idea that a schlub like that was in one of the biggest bands on the planet in the mid 80's is, uh, kind of beautiful i guess? Bruce may be a preposterous ball of corn and cheese, but he's not stupid. He surrounded himself with some of the ugliest, doofiest looking motherfuckers to ever stand on a rock stage (except for Clarence--see what I mean), and as a result, every time Bruce stepped on stage he was the best looking guy in the room (you ever see his audience? They're even uglier than the band.

Lyrically, the song is laughably straightforward. The singer is asking for a lover, most likely female (because despite all that leather and the stage kisses he used to plant on Clarence's lips, Bruce seems to have fallen solidly on the hetero side of the sexual spectrum) to protect and shelter him from the cold cruel world. Basically, he's asking the woman to do the unpaid emotional labor that women are always expected to do. There's no mention of any reciprocation from Bruce. What's in it for her? I don't think he's even going to pay her. And may I be so bold as to suggest that maybe the world is even "rougher" and, uh, "tougher" (it may have taken less than 30 mins actually) for the woman in this song. Not much of a sales pitch there, buddy. I guess she just gets the honor of protecting Bruce from the elements. Wind, rain, and snow all get a mention. Maybe the song's sung from the point of view of a mailman?

I don't know. Maybe, with its references to scoring and "snow," the song is about cocaine? Nah. Bruce seems like the kind of guy who would start crying if he saw somebody doing drugs.

Cover Me was the second single from the megalithic Born in the USA. The album would spawn five more, all of them Top 10, including this one. Let the record show that my dad, a Vietnam vet, fucking hated this album and its existence in the public consciousness. Springsteen did well in the draft lottery, and decided to go play music on the beach. My dad didn't do nearly as well, in the lottery, or in music. The idea of Springsteen making money singing about Vietnam pissed my father off to no end, but I think it was Springsteen's de-politicization of the war (while still flying the flag on his album and at shows) that galled him the most. Springsteen didn't explicitly endorse a candidate for president until John Kerry in 2004. Ronald Reagan, another reactionary cartoon selling nostalgia for a past that never really existed, would mention Bruce Springsteen every chance he got during his 1984 campaign. And Bruce, not wanting to, uh, alienate anyone from his hokey-ass rock & roll dream where the music brings us together, man, responded by getting someone to write an op-ed explaining how Reagan was misinterpreting the songs. Me, I think Reagan understood the songs just fine. Springsteen and Reagan both told stories of a (white) America that was down on its luck, made up of good (white) people fallen on hard times, but who would through their (white) strength and perseverance keep showing up to work every day. The only difference is Reagan offered a solution. Sure, the solution was deceitful, cruel, corrupt, and cynical in the extreme (I MEAN THE IDEA THAT GIVING RICH PEOPLE MORE MONEY WOULD EVER EVER EVER MAKE THE LIVES OF WORKING PEOPLE BETTER ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME). But uh, wait. What was I talking about?

Oh yeah. Cover Me's a 4. It's fine. I like horsey-beat songs.


THE NUMBER ONE



Here's a fun exercise. Let's imagine that there was no Ghostbusters movie, no need for a theme song, and then let's imagine that Ray Parker Jr. wrote this song anyway, that he had this great idea for a song, a song about people who capture and detain supernatural entities. Would this have still been a hit? I'd like to believe it would be about a minute shorter. That chorus sure goes on for a while. Now let's imagine that someone heard this song about busting ghosts and decided to make a movie out of it. That kind of thing has happened more times than you think. How would the movie be different? How would it be the same?

Score: 4.