The Number Fortys: 38 Special - "Back Where You Belong"

In The Number Fortys, we review every song that was sitting at #40 on the Billboard chats, starting in the first week of January 1984, right around the time this writer became cognizant/obsessive about music. The seeds for the idea came from Tom Breihan's Number Ones column over at Stereogum. However, we here at k-postpunk believe that the bottom is more interesting than the top (and obscurity is more interesting than either).

The first outright skunk-ass stinker of this doomed petulant endeavor. 38 Special were a southern rock band (started by one of Lynyrd Skynyrd's little brothers no less and named after a type of gun) that spent the 80s getting progressively less southern and significantly less rock. By 1984, they were churning out generic arena mush like this.

I don't get nearly enough money or readers to watch this video all the way through, but I hope that girl in the video kills every last one of those pudgy truck-fuckers, especially the short one that looks like a sentient ferret. This one gets a zero because there it has nothing to offer any one except blandness and an overabundance of treble. And it better not fuck up my YouTube recommendations any more than this series already has (no, I DON'T fucking want to watch "Matter of Trust" by Billy Joel).


THE NUMBER ONE

You know why nobody ever says anything shitty about Culture Club and Boy George? Because they provided a stark alternative to the likes of 38 Special. Karma Chameleon continues its reign at #1 for the third week in a row.