The Number Fortys: Olivia Newton-John "Livin' In Desperate Times"

In The Number Fortys, we review every song that was sitting at #40 on the Billboard chats, starting in the first week of January 1984, right around the time this writer became cognizant/obsessive about music. The seeds for the idea came from Tom Breihan's Number Ones column over at Stereogum. However, we here at k-postpunk believe that the bottom is more interesting than the top (and obscurity is more interesting than either).

I have no memory of this song ever existing, and have never heard it before in my life. And I write this as someone with copies of Olivia's Greatest Hits Vol. 2 and the Xanadu soundtrack in our house. Olivia's previous single, Twist of Fate, had gone to #5 (it's a 4), and this song briefly struggled to #31. Olivia would have only one more US Top 40 hit, 1985's Soul Kiss (it's a 2).

So Livin' In Desperate Times appears to be a bit of social commentary (the dropped "g" in the title's participle is a dead Dylan-esque--or more accurately, Guthrie-esque--giveaway). The video there is, uh, definitely something. Flashing the words MENACE and MANIAC as the "urban" looking guy grabs a writhing white girl and starts shaking the shit out of her isn't just problematic. It's racist as fuck.

However, watching Olivia hopscotch over the word tantrum is...delightfully bizarre? Cool sunglasses though.

As for the song, it's overproduced and underwritten. There wasn't much for Olivia to work with. The lyrics are trite. The melody hardly ever deviates from the same six note pattern da-dudda-da-da-da, which over the course of four minutes gets real old, real fast. The chord progression echoes the previous year's Love Is a Battlefield from Pat Benatar, without any of that song's melodic or dynamic strengths (It's a 7, in case you're wondering). Olivia had many great moments in her career. This isn't even close to one of them. To paraphrase an old church saying, something about loving the singer but hating the song.

Score: 2

THE NUMBER ONE




Holy fucking shit. I'm going to just assume this is going to stay number one for, like, the next 17 weeks. It's a 10. I'm guessing the lyrics were written about 30 minutes before they were sung, probably in a car. This song almost makes me proud to be an American, where at least I know we can produce a band like Van Halen. I suddenly feel nostalgic for California. Somebody slap me.